09.10.17

How to find self-confidence.

 

 

Who would have thought that after having 2 kids and being right on the verge of my 30’s that I would feel more beautiful and confident than ever before? I certainly wouldn’t have thought that because “having kids changes your body” and “your body will never be the same”. That’s true, I can vouch for that by showing you the stretch marks on my ass and the varicose vein I got from my second pregnancy that runs down my left leg. Not cute, but you know what? It’s my body. I have to accept that. and you should accept yours, too. 

Do you struggle with self-confidence? Well, we all do, you aren’t alone. But you know what the first step into achieving self-confidence is… accepting that you are not perfect and you never are going to be! Are you mad at yourself for something you’ve done in the past? Then forgive yourself and move forward. Turn off that image of the body you want, those are magazines and you’re probably never going to have it. Now, look at yourself and ask yourself — am I being the best me? am I taking care of myself, eating healthy, and treating others kindly?” That’s where I think that you need to turn to find it. 

I think confidence has a lot to do with wisdom and wisdom is something you gain with time. After having kids it’s like life hit me upside the head and my priorities changed quick. I was like WOW, what used to be important just doesn’t matter anymore.  If only I could go back and time and tell my younger, pre-baby self how beautiful I was and to stop worrying so much about what everyone else thinks. I felt like all I cared about back then was what other people thought of me. I never once put myself as the priority… what do I think of myself? Am I proud of who I am?

The thing is, when you are worried about what other people think you don’t radiate your real beauty. I am a firm believer that the intentions you set for yourself are what portray in real life. There is nothing like that confidence you show in yourself that radiates beauty in my opinion so, find what makes you feel beautiful. And for me, these are the things that have made me feel like a more beautiful person, and here are just a few things I would tell my HS self. 

  1. Self Care. I take care of myself. I fuel my body with foods that make every cell in my body happy. I also take the time to exercise regularly and do yoga, which is what makes me feel best. Find what makes you feel your best and stay committed to it. 
  2. Be you. I dress for my body. back in my High School and college years, I would wear something just because it was in style and this is can be the worst thing ever depending on what the style is and what your body type may be. For example, I love when girls wear sassy rompers but man, when I put on a romper don’t let me out of the house. I’ve tried and tried and tried again but it’s just not my look! My friend, Nicole, looks like a million bucks in it with her petite build but me? I look like a giant baby with a huge wedgie. Wear what makes you feel good and comfortable. For me, I love wearing jeans. I think it makes my butt look good and throwing on a simple t-shirt, a fun pair of shoes and some pretty lipstick is all it takes for me to feel like I am ready to hit the town. Some may call that boring, but it’s just what makes me feel pretty. So that’s what I am going to keep wearing! 
  3. Love. Let go of negative energy and choose to not be a part of it. For example, you’re at a wedding and it’s with all your old college friends that you haven’t seen in forever. You’re sitting at a table and sally walks in, and she is looking super thin (yes, I said thin, not fat). All the girls at your table say “wow, she looks anorexic, she needs to eat something”. Choose to say something kind at that, for example, “hey, maybe she is having some emotional problems or has been sick, you don’t know why so let’s not talk ugly.” because the truth is… you don’t know everyone’s story.  You really don’t know what they’re going through. Not to mention, the men sitting at the table with you will be like WOW. now that’s sexy, and your “beauty” factor just went up 3 notches because, having a beautiful heart that is understanding and forgiving to others is straight up gorgeous. (we’ve all been a part of these conversations before and sometimes it’s hard to avoid taking part in them. I struggle with it, too. But forgive yourself for the negative things you’ve done in the past and set an intention to do what’s right next time). 

Recently, a follower and fellow blogger reached out to me to tell me about her new initiative that she has started in Chicago and it really touched my heart. I thought it was a great idea and I can tell by the way that she is branding it and how passionate she is about it, that is is going places. I typically don’t share stuff like this from followers since it could cause a ripple effect; however, this one just felt right to share.

Jacqueline Gould, a self-worth enthusiast, wellness guru and founder of Your Inner Babestruggled horribly with self-confidence throughout her high school and college years. She saw clinical professional after clinal professional and, no matter how many people she saw, continued to struggle and continued to feel alone. Now that she is older, she realizes and believes that if she had someone back then that really understood what she was going through, someone who could look me her the eye and relate to her situation, she wouldn’t have struggled for so long. That is why she started yourinnerbabe.com, where she helps woman of all ages who are ready to own their inner struggles and turn their lives around. Pretty incredible!

So here I am, sporting Jacqueline’s #babe hat to not only support her and her amazing endeavor, but to also show that I am proud to be me, flaws and all, and that I feel more beautiful than ever! I believe that you, too, can find confidence within you if you just try to love yourself, and others, more. Accept yourself for who you are. Make good decisions for yourself so that you are proud of yourself. Be kind to others so that you are happy with the person you are. You WILL RADIATE. I promise you that. 

Find what it takes to make those minor or major changes in your life to let your beauty radiate! We all have it in us, we just have to set the intention to be positive, beautiful people.

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